Words from my heart on a day when words and emotion overflow and mingle…
“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart” Luke 2:19
Pressed deeply in her heart. Moments. Sacred moments.
We sense in our soul the magnitude and attempt in our limited ability to capture it. What is seen, heard, felt, communicated, experienced. Each detail noted… treasured.
Mary knew. She did not let the moment escape. She treasured it. She pondered it. She embraced the gift. Aware of the significance yet not fully aware of the eternal magnitude.
Mary had the advantage of being visited by an angel who told her in no uncertain terms the significance of the child in her womb. She knew this was a moment not to be missed. The moment, however, was far from calm. In the midst of all that was happening… all the stress of giving birth in a stable, learning how to mother a newborn, and navigating a not quite formalized marriage while surrounded by animals, angelic announcements, a celestial show, unfamiliar visitors, unwanted smells, and an unknown future… Mary paused. Scripture tells us that she took time to treasure the moment and ponder it in her heart. Yes, this was the Savior of the world but He was also her son. A whisper in her soul said this was a moment not to be forgotten. Details that needed to be remembered always!
Tonight I am unpacking treasured moments. Moments I have pressed deeply in my heart. Knowing that there are many that have slipped by, I cherish those that I purpose to keep alive in my heart.
365 days ago I hugged my father at the curb of the airport having no idea it would be the last earthly hug we would share. I remember his words, the longer than normal embrace, the look in his eyes… the glimmer of a tear and the love reflected in them. The leaving always hurt. I remember yearning for a picture of the moment or wishing the moment did not have to end as I pulled myself away from him. One last look and deep love exchanged in a glance as he told me to “come home again soon”. I walked away with a tear in my eye thinking how exceptionally tender the moment had been. I knew this was a moment to treasure. I am thankful I heard the whisper. I pondered it in my heart and pressed it deep. I would not know the magnitude of the moment until the following day when so unexpectedly he left us for his heavenly home. The moment captured in my heart became so much more. That tender good bye became a gift of great worth. Though bittersweet, I have treasured it for these 365 days. I cling to it; pull it out and ponder it. For even in the ache of it there is love and joy and beauty. It is a treasure.
There are other heart treasures. Some bring tears. Some bring laughter. There is new love, vows exchanged, holidays gathered together, holidays spent apart, hard good byes, joyous hellos, the last words of my mother and her fingers in my hair, the birth of my children, milestones as they have grown, prayers shared, leaving homes, fresh starts, hard endings, honest words, and love expressed. The list and details could fill pages. Each moment a treasure.
I find myself also keenly aware of the moments I missed. Moments lost in the fullness of my days. Moments just as tender that I cannot revisit or recreate. Wishing now that I had been still enough, aware enough to hear that whisper that alerts me to the significant. Moments remembered yet not treasured. Sounds, sights, smells that fade with time. Reminders to my soul to pause… be still… treasure and ponder.
So today, I pull out the treasure of that last moment with my dad. I remember. I ponder it once again and I purpose to hold it as the treasure it is. Thankful for the gift and the Giver of the moment. With that treasured moment, many others tumble out with it. While tears do flow because sadness is intertwined with the memories, there is joy too. Joy over a life of treasures. Treasures shared. Treasures pondered and pressed deep in my heart. Those treasures bring peace and fill my heart with a love. Love that is a balm when the hearts hurts. Thankful.
I love you Daddy!